If I May, a Rant: The High Fructose Corn Syrup Conspiracy

     Oh, I love that word: conspiracy. It sounds so exhilarating as it rolls off the tongue, or onto the page, rather. Something about it just gets my blood pumping. Maybe it's because I hate being lied to, and I love exposing the truth—especially when it's nice and juicy.
     Of course, my idea of juicy these days primarily involves food industry shenanigans. I find the extent to which these food processing fat cats will go to maintain their profit-driven monopolization of the agricultural industry endlessly vexing and perplexing, but also fascinating and, at times, amusing. How far will they go? Well, these videos give some indication (in a light-hearted, You-Tube-friendly sort of way).
     If you're unfamiliar with the true story behind high fructose corn syrup, why it exists, how it came to be in almost every processed food product on the grocery store shelves, and why there is now so much controversy over its usage and consumption, then you may want to watch the following video clip.  I don't know much about this woman, but I like her down homey approach to educating the public regarding the "conspiracy for fat America," as she calls it. (Notice the little High Fructose Corn Syrup ad link popping up at the bottom of the video as soon as it plays? Sneaky bastards!)


And now, get a load of this nonsense, brought to you by the Corn Refiners Association, intended to make all those documentary-film-making hippies out there look like the gosh darn idjits they really are:


For your added viewing pleasure, here is a satisfactory (although not quite straightforward enough for my taste) spoof of the above ridiculousness, brought to you by the makers of King Corn (the comprehensive and eye-opening documentary that sparked much of the current debate over high fructose corn syrup):


The following is yet another Sarah Palin-esque Corn Refiners Association advertisement, meant to keep ignorant Americans everywhere running to the supermarket for their soda pop and Little Debbie snack cakes, thinking they're somehow supporting a perfectly wholesome product of nature:


And a real American couple's factoid-rich response to it:


And finally, the second spoof filmed by the King Corn fellows:


     Ergh. I am so tired of these corporations pulling the wool over people's eyes. Diabetes is serious. Heart disease is serious. Obesity is serious. The only thing the Corn Refiners Association is ultimately concerned with is keeping the pockets of the predominately overweight folks at the top of the high fructose corporate food industry chain nice and plump.
     So there.
     (I promise I'll stop ranting and get back to some more innocent sweet talk in future posts.)